


Charlie's last secret

by gianta



Category: Saving Hope, The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2018-12-13 16:15:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11763621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gianta/pseuds/gianta
Summary: Charlie Harris was left an orphan when his parents died in a car accident. After he suffered the same fate, his pregnant wife Alex finds herself on a journey that takes her to Washington DC, searching for a family that raised him… Dana Scully, an FBI agent, finds herself in bed with her partner and ex-lover Fox Mulder after the death of her mother. Going down that road again won’t help their fragile working relationship, but a woman who claims to be her lost brother’s widow just might… Nobody is left untouched when the family secrets finally start unraveling.





	1. Chapter 1

“Hi,” Fox Mulder gently greeted his partner as she woke up next to him.

His lover. Ex-lover.

Lover again. Briefly, at least.

He knew she’d regret last night. He knew he should, too.

But Fox Mulder never gave much damn for what he should or was expected to do or feel.

“You should leave,” Dana Scully, his work partner and forbidden soon-to-be-ex-again lover informed him as a matter of fact. “This never should’ve happened.”

“Don’t worry, Scully,” he smiled sarcastically, joylessly. He called her Scully and she called him Mulder. Even as a couple, they were never on a first name basis. Maybe less so, in fact. Their romantic relationship collided with many more obstacles than their working partnership. What brought them together while sharing a basement office didn’t work so well when it came to sharing a bed and a home. Not well at all. “As far as I’m concerned, it’s already forgotten.”

The sad thing is, he wasn’t even lying. Gone were the days when he was crying himself to sleep, missing her as much as a cripple misses his limb. Fox Mulder used to wish for a peg leg, he got a peg soul instead and it seemed like a fair deal. He didn’t have the energy to care anymore.

Even about her. Especially about her. Not in that my-touchstone/my-one-in-a-five-(or-seven)-billion/the-only-one-I-trust kind of way anyway.

Nobody expects much from you when you have a peg leg, just surviving from day to day makes you a hero. Having a peg soul seemed to have the similar effect. Nobody expected much more from severely depressed middle aged ex fugitive than to make it through the day without forgetting to take his damn pills and occasionally change his underwear. Not his ex/current lover/partner, and not his boss.

Nobody else knew he existed, really.  

It suited him just fine.

He got up, picked up his clothes and went to the bathroom.

Dana Scully, left alone in her, no, oh god, her _mother’s_ bed, started to miss his heat immediately. She pulled the covers over her head in shame. How could she do this? To him! To herself!

It wasn’t love, it was comfort. She was hurting, grieving her mother’s death, and Mulder was there for her, like he always was. As years and decades went on, he became more and more of a loner, until there was nothing and nobody left in his life to cling on, except for her. It was hard not to take him for granted. It was even harder not to lose herself in an embrace of a man who knew her body so well and who wouldn’t ask questions.

Mulder offered to help her when she finally forced herself to go through her mother’s stuff. Of course he did. He followed her around like a puppy and she loved it and hated it at the same time.

It was she who left. She believed she was the reason for his depression, if not the cause then a reminder of everything he lost. The biggest loss, his son, _their_ son, was all her fault. She believed Mulder would be better without her.

She even believed she would be better without him. She still clung to that belief, even after all the other premises proved wrong. There weren’t many options left for her and she was well aware that she couldn’t take back what she gave up and expect it to remain untouched, unchanged, unbroken…

They were in a better place, finally. They were partners again, back in those familiar roles that suited them much better than playing house. She wasn’t going to ruin it for a roll in the hay.

No, last night was a mistake brought on by her grief and his illness. It couldn’t happen again. After everything they’ve been through together, she couldn’t reduce their relationship to casual sex. Both of them deserved more, and they weren’t going to find it in each other. No, sadly not anymore.

Not that she could imagine ever loving anybody else, but forever is a long time…

Mulder used the toilet and washed his face, looking around the Scully’s mother’s bathroom. It brought back fond memories of deceased woman. She tried to make him call her Maggie, but she always stayed Mrs. Scully to him.

He was there when she died, but it still seemed unreal. Some things he believed to be immortal, like this woman or his relationship to her daughter.

Mulder shook his head, trying to clear his head. There was no point to cry over spilled milk. There was still so much left to look forward to. He had his job again. He had his partner. Everything else, their love, their child, he had to learn to put behind him.

He had to, really. His therapist wouldn’t clear him for the job otherwise. His work was all he had, but that was a good thing, since it was the kind of job that doesn’t leave much room for personal life anyway.

Refreshed, even though wearing yesterday’s clothes, he went to the front door without bothering to say goodbye. Scully didn’t want formalities, she wanted him gone. She made that very clear and he had no objections. He definitely didn’t want to _talk_.

He opened the door, startling a woman standing in front of it, prepared to knock. She had a long dark hair, a toddler, and she was very pregnant and beautiful.

Mulder took out his wallet, fished for twenty-dollar bill and offered it to her.

“Oh no,” the woman objected. “I am not here to beg.”

“Sorry,” Mulder placed the bill back in the wallet, eyeing her belly and the kid suspiciously. What else could she have wanted?

“Why are you here?” he asked her. “Who are you?”

“Alex Reid. Harris,” she quickly corrected herself. “Dr. Alex Harris.”

“Fox Mulder,” he supplied, offering his hand. “FBI.”

“Oh,” Alex shook his hand awkwardly. “I’m looking for Margaret Scully, actually.”

“A friend of yours?” Mulder was growing more and more suspicious, and less willing to give any information to this strange woman with Canadian accent.

“No, um,” Alex was just growing more confused. “I don’t know what, if anything, she is to me.”

“Was,” Mulder corrected her. “Mrs. Scully was recently deceased.”

“Oh, I…” Alex didn’t really know what to say. “I’m sorry.”

Suddenly, Scully appeared behind Mulder. “Who are you talking to?”

“A fertile doctor who isn’t sure about her own name,” Mulder provided. Alex cringed, deciding that she didn’t like him and transferring her attention to the woman.

“My name is…” she started, but stopped in the middle of introduction. This woman… She’s seen her before.

“Would you please hold him?” she turned to Mulder, handing her son to him. She didn’t want the kid to wander around while she searched her purse for something. Mulder awkwardly took him, unused to being around kids, even though the boy accepted him immediately. The last time he held a child in his arms, it was his own son…

Mulder shook his head fiercely, scaring away unwanted memories before the emotions got a chance to take over him. He had to learn to put it behind him. He wasn’t going to let it come in front of him again. Ever.

Alex finally dug up some folder, opened it and fished a photograph from it, handing it to Scully. “You are the woman in this picture.”

“Yes,” Scully confirmed, eyeing the woman suspiciously. “Where did you find this?”

“This man on your right,” Alex ignored the question, for now. “Did you know him?”

“Of course I know him!” Scully exclaimed. “I haven’t seen him in years, but I can still recognize my little brother, Charlie Scully. Do you know where he is? Who are you? What is this about?”

“I’m Dr. Alex Harris,” Alex said her name correctly this time. “The man in the picture is my late husband, Dr. Charlie Harris.”


	2. Chapter 2

 

“Charlie Harris,” Scully sighed sadly after inviting Alex inside and unsuccessfully trying to get rid of Mulder who just wouldn’t leave. “He changed his name, that’s why I didn’t manage to find him.”

“Right,” Mulder was still unconvinced and unwilling to let his eyes off Alex even for a second. “You claim you married Charlie Scully, but under the last name Harris, less than a month ago, wasn’t it? And he died on your wedding night?”

Alex nodded, annoyed with his paranoia, but Mulder couldn’t help it. He just couldn’t trust anybody named Alex.

“And yet, you seem to be nine months pregnant and this kid must be at least three,” Mulder continued.

“Two,” Alex corrected him. “The rest is quite accurate.”

“And if we took a DNA test, would it confirm your story?” Mulder inquired. “Would it uncover this kid as a member of Scully clan?”

“I’m not sure,” Alex admitted.

“You are not sure,” Mulder repeated, nodding his head knowingly. It wasn’t even a question.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but Charlie might not have been Luke’s biological father,” Alex kept her head high, not letting this man intimidate her. “But he didn’t care. He didn’t want to know. Even if he wasn’t, it wouldn’t make him any less of Luke’s father, and the child’s birth certificate has his name on it.”

“You know what I think?” Mulder kept nodding his head complacently. “I think you’re a gold digger. I think Charlie Scully and Charlie Harris are not nearly the same person, if the latter even existed at all. It’s all a scam, a smart scam, but scam nonetheless. You heard about Mrs. Scully’s death and thought you could profit from it. Tough luck! Scully family is not wealthy enough to be worthy that kind of risk, especially when the daughter is an FBI agent. You should have pretended to be my sister instead.”

“I don’t have to listen to this!” Alex said angrily, picking up Luke and getting ready to leave. “This was clearly a waste of my time! I apologize for bothering you!”

“Glad we cleared that out,” Mulder agreed.

“Enough!” Scully finally yelled from her seat and they both turned towards her in surprise. They almost forgot she was there. Tears were now falling from her eyes and she was clearly upset.

“It’s him,” she gasped. “It’s my brother. She’s telling the truth.”

“Scully…” Mulder said gently, wanting to reason with her. The idea that some dead Canadian doctor, with different name and all, could be Scully’s lost brother was too far-fetched, even for his taste. But Scully wasn’t ready to listen.

“She’s telling the truth,” she repeated insistently. “Harris was Charlie’s original last name, before his parents died and mine adopted him. He… He was supposed to be my cousin, but…” she broke down in sobs. “I can’t believe he’s gone…”

Mulder pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. Scully’s story made even less sense than Alex’s and he was left speechless for a while.

“He was adopted?” Alex asked, at the brink of tears herself. “I don’t understand. He never told me. I thought he was raised in foster homes.”

“No,” Scully stood up, shaking her head and getting her own tears under control. “It wasn’t all that simple. Our mothers were sisters but Charlie was a biological son of my father. It was a classic sleeping-with-your-sister’s-husband scenario that tore their family apart. Charlie’s mother eventually married, moved to Canada and I’ve never ever met Charlie before his parents died and he came to live with us. It was hard for my mother to accept him as her own, but eventually she did. Not soon enough, I suppose. Charlie always felt like he didn’t belong and I… I can’t blame him.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Mulder asked quietly, almost feeling like crying as well. He felt for Charlie now, and even for Luke. He knew what was like to be raised by a man who isn’t your biological father. Except that he didn’t find out for a long time…

“I never knew the whole story,” Scully explained. “I thought it didn’t matter. He was my brother no matter what and I guess I didn’t care much. Our sister Melissa figured it all out and thought I should know. When she got killed, our family fell apart. Everybody blamed me, they tried not to but it was clear that they did and I can’t say they were wrong… It took us a long time to heal, and when we finally did Charlie was no longer around. I can’t say I blame him, honestly. I was too busy to return his calls and our brother Bill never got along with him anyway. I don’t know what happened between Charlie and mom, but she never forgot him. She died calling his name… She probably blamed herself…”

“I…” Alex placed her hand on her belly, asking her unborn baby for comfort and strength that she often lacked these days. “I can’t believe he never told me.”

“Alex,” Scully asked reluctantly. “What happened? How did he die?”

“A car accident,” Alex responded. She sniffed, then smiled, then fell apart.

When a doctor falls apart, it sometimes means she’ll go on explaining the injuries in great many details. Too many for Mulder’s taste, and he didn’t understand more than half of it. But nobody paid attention to him.

Scully understood every single word and Alex really needed to be understood. She talked about Charlie’s injuries, Luke’s and her own. Then she started to babble about curses and ghosts and how she used to think it was all her fault. Now that was closer to Mulder’s expertise and it gained his attention, but Alex seemed to have become unaware of his and Scully’s presence.

She was talking louder and faster until she became incoherent, but even that didn’t do much to stop her.

Charlie had a family. He had a sister! A nice, smart big sister who was a doctor, just like him. Her Charlie. Charlie Harris was raised as Charlie Scully. And he never told her! Not a single word!

Which only reminded her that he never would. Which only reminded her that she would never have a chance to ask him. Not about this. Not about anything else. That he was dead. For real this time.

Forever this time.

She stayed strong for the last couple of weeks, for everything that she had to handle and arrange after Charlie’s death. It was all over now. Everything, including finding his family, was over. Done. Completed.

Everything except for her pain that only seemed to have grown stronger. Unbearable. Inconsolable.

“It’s ok,” she heard a soft voice and felt strong yet gentle arms wrap around her, holding her. “I’ve got you.”

She returned the hug, holding onto her sister in law and they cried in each other’s arms for a long time.


	3. Chapter 3

 

When they calmed down, Scully invited Alex to stay with her, for a few days at least. She wanted to get to know her, to find out all she could about Charlie, and to just have someone around other than Mulder for a change.

Alex accepted. She didn’t come all the way down here just to say hi and return home. Besides, she was on a leave without anything better to do. Sitting in her apartment with nothing but Luke and her grief to keep her company would eventually drive her crazy.

Scully asked her partner to watch Luke for a while, so that she could get to know her sister in law in peace. It was a good enough excuse, but she clearly just wanted him out of her sight, for some reason. Alex didn’t mind since Mulder wasn’t awfully friendly with her, but for the same reason she wasn’t keen on handing her son to him, even for a little while.

On the other hand, she was exhausted and in real need of help. Seeing how Luke and Mulder instantly bonded for some reason, and as harsh as the man was to her as gentle he was with her kid, she reluctantly agreed.

Scully offered her to lie down for a bit, but Alex was too tired and too excited to sleep now. She had so many questions and now, faced with Charlie’s sister, she couldn’t believe she never thought to ask any of that her husband, while he was still alive. Instead, they wasted so much precious time trying to stay away from each other. It seemed so absurd now.

Scully busied herself making some tea and snacks for them, and when she finally sat down neither of them knew how to start. They looked at each other awkwardly, smiling shyly.

“My mother recently died, also,” Alex finally said. “And I lost a baby brother, too.”

“I’m sorry,” Scully said, shutting down a half-formed response in her head that went something like: _And I’ve also lost a, um, sexual partner_ (as weird as it sounded, she could never think about him as a boyfriend, or even lover), _I buried him, then three months later revived him and now he’s back to being a pain in the ass…_

“I have two older brothers, but we don’t keep in touch very often,” Alex kept on, not knowing why she was saying it.

Then her phone rang and she excused herself to answer it.

“Where are you, Alex?” her boss asked worryingly without wasting time on pleasantries.

“He had a sister,” Alex said, fighting the tears again. “I found her, Dawn! I’m with her right now.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Charlie…” she almost chocked at the mention of his name. “Charlie had a family. His dad wasn’t his biological father and, well, it’s a long story but he has a sister!”

“Oh my god, Alex, are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Alex sniffed. “She’s a doctor, too! I can’t believe he kept her from me.”

Scully got up, wanting to give her privacy, but Alex motioned her to stay.

“He never mentioned her to me either,” Dawn sighed. “Damn, Charlie! What were you thinking?”

“I’ll stay here for a few days. Dana invited me and I want to find out as much as I can. It’s like… It’s like… Like having him back, just for a second…”

“Alex? Is Dana with you?”

“Oh, no, not our Dana. Dana Scully. That’s her name. Charlie’s… That’s Charie’s sister, Dawn!”

“Oh, I see. Is she there? Can I talk to her?”

“Wait, I’ll ask her… Dana? My… friend wants to talk to you, is that ok?”

“Sure,” Scully nodded and Alex handed her the phone. “Dana Scully,” she introduced herself.

“Dana, this is Dawn Bell. Charlie’s first wife and Alex’s boss.”

“First wife?” Scully gave Alex a questioning look and she just shrugged in response.

“Yes, but that doesn’t matter now. What matters is Alex and her baby. I don’t approve of her choice to travel so far in her condition and now that she’s staying with you I will hold you personally responsible if anything happens to her. Is that understood?”

“Yes, Mrs. Bell…”

“Dr. Bell.”

“Dr. Bell, I can assure you Alex is in good hands. I am a doctor myself, and I participated in a few deliveries back in the day. I remember when my sister in law was having her baby…”

“Your sister in law?”

“I have another brother. His wife, Tara.”

“I see. Tell me, Dr. Scully, how come Charlie never mentioned you?”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Dr. Bell. I never talked about him to my partner either. He knows I have another brother, but nothing more than that. I don’t know how we ended up here, and now that I’ve met Alex it seems so absurd…”

“Dana Scully, you said? What hospital do you work in?”

“I work for the FBI.”

“So not really a doctor, are you?”

“Yes, I am. But, no, not primarily, if that’s what you mean. I am an FBI agent first, and my badge number is JTT0331613 if you want to check up on me.”

“I will do that, thank you. I’ll get back to you. Nice to meet you Dr. Scully.”

“My pleasure, Dr. Bell.”

Scully finished the conversation and returned the phone to Alex.

“She can be a bit harsh,” Alex said apologetically. “But her heart is in the right place.”

“It’s ok,” Scully assured her. “In my line of work I’m used to not being trusted. She reminds me a little of my boss, actually.”

“She also worries about you a little too much?”

“He. And yes, he does sometimes.”

“So what is your line of work, now that you’ve mentioned it?”

“I work for the X files. It’s basically all about the cases that don’t fit in any other department, mostly paranormal stuff and unexplained phenomena. My job is to debunk them. My partner, however, is more interesting in proving them real.”

“I can’t believe this,” Alex was shaking her head.

“I get that a lot,” Scully nodded understandingly. “That’s probably why my social life has much to be desired. It’s not exactly…”

“No,” Alex interrupted her. “I understand, more than you know. You see, Charlie… Well, we can talk about that another time. I was wondering, do you have any pictures of him? As a child or… something?”

“Sure,” Scully said. “Not here, but my mother had lots of it. We can go back to her place tomorrow and see what we can find.”

“I would like that, yes. But I don’t want to be a burden to you.”

“Nonsense. We are family. I’ll be happy to show you. Why don’t you get some rest now, while I fix us something for dinner?”

“I can help.”

“No, you’re my guest. You just think about that baby and let me take care of the rest.”

Scully helped Alex to the guest bedroom, making sure she had everything she needed.

“What about Luke?” Alex worried.

“He’ll be here when you wake up,” Scully promised. “I’ll call Mulder right away.”

“Thank you… Oh!”

“What is it?”

“She’s kicking!”

“She?”

“Yes! I am having your little niece!”

“Oh my god! A girl? May I?”

“Of course! Here…”

Alex guided Scully’s hand all over her belly, introducing her to Charlie’s unborn daughter. At first she smiled with joy, but then her eyes filled with tears.

“I wish Charlie was here,” she whispered.

“Me too,” Scully sighed.

“Oh, Dana… I’m trying to stay strong, for Luke, for this baby, for our friends… But sometimes, I just want to lie down and never get up… I don’t know if I can do this alone. Without him by my side…”

“You are not alone.”

“It’s just… so hard. Do you have children?”

“I did. A boy. And a girl.”

“What happened?”

“She died. And him… I was alone and I made a mistake…”

“What do you mean?”

“Another time. Rest now.”

Alex obediently lied down and closed her eyes, unable to keep them open anymore.

“I can’t believe he kept you from me,” she murmured, half asleep already.

Scully gently covered her with a blanket and quietly left the room. On the doorway, she turned around and watched her for a few moments, feeling Charlie’s presence in the air.

“Isn’t she a bit too young for you?” she whispered teasingly. “Though you had a good taste. I like her, Charlie. I like her a lot.”


	4. Chapter 4

 

Skinner thought he heard a kid, but that wasn’t possible. No kid was ever in this basement, not since he became an Assistant Director and he was in that role for a while now. A long, long while.

He approached the X files office, but instead of using his key he knocked, since he heard noises from the inside. Weird noises.

Whatever Mulder and Scully were doing inside - and for god’s sake it was Saturday morning so they could certainly have found a more appropriate place to do it – he didn’t have a desire to walk into it.

His knock was not answered. Mulder probably couldn’t hear it because he was laughing so hard.

Mulder? Laughing?

Even before he became severely depressed, Mulder was not known for laughing. Ever. He always had that tortured-and-betrayed look about him.

What the hell was going on?

Then Skinner heard another voice – definitely child’s.

A child. While still inappropriate, it was way less awkward than Skinner’s initial guess, so he bravely grabbed the knob and opened the door.

“Bam! Bam! Bam!” a little boy yelled excitedly, pointing a… some kind of ancient weapon? …at Mulder, who was rolling on the floor and making dying noises.

Now THAT was an X file! Unexplained… phenomena. Right in front of Skinner’s eyes.

He took off his glasses and wiped them clean, but it didn’t help much. The scene in front of him didn’t change.

It did get Mulder’s attention, at least.

“Oh hi, sir!” he jumped to his feet, brushing the dust from his suit. Due to his paranoia, he never allowed any cleaner inside to at least sweep up a bit and Scully rarely had enough spare time to do it herself.

“Bam! Bam!” the kid pointed his weapon at Skinner now, which prompted Mulder to quickly confiscate it and place it on the shelf full of all kind of other unexplainable stuff.

“We don’t kill the boss, Luke,” Mulder informed the kid.

“Oh-oh,” little boy sounded so genuinely concerned that Mulder couldn’t help but laugh again.

“What is going on here?” Skinner, however, didn’t feel like laughing.

“I’m teaching him how to defeat aliens,” Mulder said. “This is Luke, my nephew. Luke, this beautiful bold man is – how should I call him – The Man!”

“Da Ma!” Luke exclaimed, slapping his hands with unreasonable excitement and enthusiasm.

“Your… what?!” Skinner showed his excitement a little differently.

A nephew? Did Samantha, Mulder’s lost sister, come back to life? Or did Jeffrey Spender start a family and invited his half-enemy half-brother to babysit?

“Have you been taking your meds?” Skinner asked, since that was the most obvious explanation to Mulder’s bizarre behavior. It didn’t explain the kid, though, but one thing at a time…

“Happy pills,” Mulder sighed. “Right!”

He took the little bottle from his coat pocket, fished out two pills and swallowed them without water. Then he opened his mouth with a loud “Aaaaa” and stick his tongue out to prove to Skinner that they were really gone.

The kid giggled with joy and Mulder winked at him.

“Funny,” Mulder noted, returning the bottle to the pocket. “Everybody around me are thrilled when I take them, yet they are supposed to make _me_ happy, not others. It’s a real X file, isn’t it buddy?”

Luke enthusiastically nodded and Mulder stroked his hair in return.

“Your nephew,” Skinner demanded attention. “How?”

“Well,” Mulder pretended to think for a moment, making a funny face for Luke’s entertainment. “It seems Charlie Scully really exists after all, except that he’s d-e-a-d and preferred to be called Harris. He may or may not have been this fellow’s biological f-a-t-h-e-r, so Scully may or may not be his aunt. And since she’s the closest thing to an ex-wife that I have, my buddy Luke here is the closest thing to a nephew I’ll ever have. Isn’t that right, partner?” he asked Luke for confirmation, who obediently nodded.

“Where is Scully?” Skinner asked in his bossy voice.

“Catching up with his mother,” Mulder answered. “Girls’ talk. Since we aren’t girls, they kicked us out. Isn’t that so, buddy? Are we girls or not?”

“Nooo!” Luke shook his head fiercely and seriously.

“Are you sure?” Mulder asked for clarification.

Luke nodded. “I’m a boooy!”

“Then I must be one, too.”

“So you are babysitting,” Skinner concluded. “In each case, this isn’t a place for a child. Did Scully tell you to bring him here?”

“No,” Mulder answered. “I just came to pick something up.”

“It’s Saturday, Mulder. Couldn’t it have waited until Monday?”

“Probably,” Mulder shrugged, taking on his coat. “But then again, I could ask you the same thing. What are you doing here, sir?”

“I’m looking for Hershey’s file.”

Mulder picked up Luke with one hand, a file with the other, then tried to hand Luke to Skinner.

“Oh sorry, you wanted the file, not the boy,” he pretended to be confused, making Luke giggle again.

Skinner grabbed the file, not showing any appreciation for the joke.

“Was that all you needed, sir?” Mulder asked, not wanting to leave him alone in the office, _his_ office. He may have shared it with Scully, but she never bothered to put her name on the door, next to his. It was probably one of her ways of pretending that she could walk out any moment and be happy just being a doctor or whatever.

“No, that is all, thank you,” Skinner said formally. They walked out of the door together, both wanting to make sure that the other will really leave the office.

“Would you like to feed some fish?” Mulder asked Luke who nodded with enthusiasm again.

“Okay, buddy,” Mulder smiled fondly. “Just give The Man a kiss and we’ll be on our way.”

He brought Luke closer to Skinner and the boy dutifully kissed the old man in the cheek, before Skinner had a chance to move away. Luckily, Skinner was faster than Mulder when his agent decided to bring his own lips a bit closer as well.

“Just go, Mulder,” he said, turning away from him. Only when Mulder was out of his sight, he dared to allow himself a tiny smile. Whoever this Luke kid really was, he did more good for the poor agent than all the anti-depressants in the world.


	5. Chapter 5

When Mulder showed up at Scully’s place she appeared to have been crying.

It was to be expected, after all. Sorting out her mother’s things opened up the wound that still hadn’t begun to properly heal. On top of that, she just found out her little brother was dead as well.

Scully didn’t even try to wipe the tears. She just stood there, watching him from the other side of the hall, and Mulder didn’t dare to move. There was a sleeping kid in his arms, who he didn’t want to disturb. And whatever Scully was going through, he didn’t want disturbed either.

She kept watching him, seeing Emily instead of Luke in his arms. It was a déjà vu moment of sort, from a time long gone, when they were young and strong and still believed they could find the truth and save the world. When they weren’t in love, not with each other and not with anybody else.

At least that last part was the same again. For better. Or worse. She couldn’t really tell the difference.

Why wasn’t it Emily in Mulder’s embrace? Or William? Why did she let her die and him be taken by strangers? She knew she must’ve had good reasons, but she couldn’t remember any of them. Not for the life of her. It all sounded like a bad movie script, and even if there was going to be a happy ending somebody must have changed it at the last moment.

“Where do you want me to put him?” Mulder’s whisper startled her.

“Um… In the guest room,” she pointed. “Put him in the bed with Alex. She’ll want him next to her when she wakes up.”

He nodded, ever so carefully, and walked out of her sight. Her heart started to beat faster, because for a second, just for a second, she truly believed he walked out for good and she would never see him again. Just like it happened with everybody else in her life…

She leaned on the wall, closed her eyes, and let the tears fall, silently but fiercely, so strong that she shook to the bones.

“Scully? Are you alright?” she heard Mulder’s voice and felt him grab her just in time, as her knees gave up. She let him led her to the couch and sit her down, wrap her in the blanket and hold her…

“Speak to me, Scully,” his voice begged.

“It’s all coming back to me, Mulder. I can’t stop it, it’s all coming back…”

“What is? What? What’s the matter?”

“What she’s going through. I know what it’s like to be pregnant and bury the father of your unborn child. I’ve been there. It’s something… It’s something you never forget.”

“I know,” he embraced her protectively, whispering into her hair and just trying to hold her together. “But I’m here now. It’s okay. I’m not dead, I’m here.”

“But he isn’t,” she sobbed, soaking his shirt. “And he never will be. I’ll never see him again and it’s breaking my heart, over and over again, every single day that I wake up without him. Wherever I turn, whatever I do, everything reminds me of him.”

“He is happy,” Mulder tried to assure her. “And safe. And thriving in life.”

“You don’t know that. You can’t know that!”

“But I do. I do.”

“How can you know?”

“I have to, Scully. I have to believe he’s okay. And you have to trust me on this. Don’t question me, Scully, just once, just on this, and I’ll never ask anything else of you again. Just trust me that he’s okay.”

“I can’t. Mulder, I can’t. I want to, but I can’t.”

“Yes, you can!” he insisted. He took her head in his hands and raised it to make her look at him.

“He’s doing great,” he repeated, with all the certainty in the world.

Instead of an answer, Scully grabbed his head, pulled it down and showed her tongue in his mouth. He reveled in the sensation for a moment, before he forced himself to push her away.

“Take me to bed,” she demanded.

“We can’t,” he panted, only half aware of his hand sneaking underneath her shirt. “You are not thinking clearly. We’ll regret this in the morning.”

“I know,” she moaned under his touch. “I don’t care. I don’t want to think; I just want it to stop.”

“Me too,” Mulder agreed, against his better judgement. He never needed much convincing, anyway. He pushed her down and landed on top of her, urgently tinkering with his fly.

“Not here,” Scully ordered. “I have guests. Take me to bed.”

 So he did. He followed her to her bedroom and mated with her. They were wild, like animals. He knew she was just trying to escape the painful feelings that started to emerge after her mother’s death - and especially after that dear old woman’s last words, mentioning William - then got multiplied by arrival of Alex and her sweetest little boy… He let her use him, even though he knew it wouldn’t help her to suppress those feelings again. They would destroy her, just like they destroyed him, and he could do nothing more than go down with her.

Or go to bed with her.

Which was, or so it seemed, pretty much the same thing.


	6. Chapter 6

 

Two women, as of recently sisters in law, woke up at the same time, one with her children and without her man, the other without her children but with her man – the man she couldn’t live with - the man she couldn’t live without.

Neither of them wanted to get up and go on with their lives, but the evening was just starting so it wasn’t time for real sleeping yet. Besides, nature called.

They bumped at each other at the bathroom, trying to let the other one go first.

“It’s your bathroom.”

“You are my guest.”

“I can wait.”

“You are pregnant.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Alex smiled, finally giving up. “I’ll be quick.”

“Take your time,” Scully said, barely suppressing a yawn. “I’ll start the dinner. Is chicken ok?”

“Yeah, great,” Alex answered through the sound of urine running down the toilet.

Scully left for the kitchen to give her privacy. She browsed through the fridge, unimpressed with its content. She couldn’t remember the last time she cooked, and she hardly ever had appetite anymore. This wasn’t going to do it for… two… three… four of them. One of whom was eating for two.

Grabbing the pen and the paper, she returned to her bedroom and shook Mulder awake.

“What’s the time?” he asked, rolling away from her.

“Almost six,” she answered, scribbling the list on the paper.

“Too early,” Mulder complained, his voice muffled by the pillow in which he tried to sink to escape.

“Six _PM_ ,” Scully clarified. “And I have four mouths to feed. I need you to get some groceries,” she said in the same professional voice that he used when he needed her to do an autopsy.

Yes, eating dinner sounded as tempting as doing an autopsy, but Scully knew she had to eat. It was just another task to complete, not a pleasurable activity by any means.

Finished with her list, she found Mulder’s boxers and threw them at his face, both disgusted and turned on by the sight.

“Who’s the forth?” Mulder mumbled, finally getting up.

“What?” Scully was confused.

“You said you have four mouths to feed,” he clarified, putting his underwear on. “Are we counting the baby?”

“The…? Mulder, of course I’m counting _you_! You are staying for dinner, but be nice to Alex. I just… I can’t have you sleeping here. I don’t want to… complicate things further.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he passed her by, taking the list from her hand and carrying the rest of his clothes in the other arm.

“Mulder,” Scully tried to stop him, but he brushed her off, going towards the bathroom.

“I know. It can never happen again and we don’t talk about it,” he recited on the way.

“No, I was trying…”

Trying to warn him about the bathroom being occupied, but it was too late. She heard him already bumping into Alex in the hall, exchanging awkward apologies.

Damn! She’s spent the whole day trying to make a good impression on Charlie’s wife and now Mulder had to ruin it with his indecency!

Not that she should blame him, though. She was the one who relieved him of his clothes, with such an urgency as if her life depended on it. She really, _really_ had to stop doing that!

When she returned to the kitchen Alex was already there, informing Scully of her intention to help.

They started to prepare the food in silence, each lost in her own thoughts.

Alex was thinking about her daughter, happily kicking inside of her, while Scully was trying to calculate the current time in Germany. She didn’t want to call Bill in the middle of night or some other inappropriate time, not keen on upsetting him even before he heard the news. She wondered if he would care. He didn’t come to mother’s funeral, after all, so Charlie’s death probably won’t make much difference to him.

He was the only sibling she had left, and she kept postponing the call, not eager to talk him. He despised her for many reasons. Not that she could blame him, but she had long ago lost the patience with him. Giving up William was the last straw in her fragile relationship with her brother. It was something that he never tried to begin to understand.

And now, there were only two of them left.

Two down, two to go.

“So,” Alex interrupted her thoughts. “How long have you and Mulder been involved?”

“Involved in what?” Scully asked automatically, not really listening.

“In…” Alex chuckled. “…each other.”

“We only recently started to work together again,” Scully provided the answer to a different question.

“I’m sorry,” Alex felt embarrassed. “It’s none of my business. I didn’t mean to pry.”

“No, I apologize,” Scully shook her head, trying to clear her mind. “That was rude of me. It’s just… complicated between us. Everything is so complicated.”

She closed her eyes for a second, enjoying the relief of admitting it to someone. Her life and work with Mulder was the most scary and intense journey she could imagine having, and they made a mistake of keeping everything between themselves, never letting an outsider penetrate their little world, never sharing their troubles with even the closest family members, never trusting anybody enough to call them a friend, at least not since they went on the run, leaving the normal life behind.  It was too heavy a burden for two people to carry alone. It destroyed them in the end.

“Do you love him?” Alex asked innocently.

“Of course I love him!” Scully answered sharply, annoyed with both the question and the answer. “But that’s never enough.”

Love wasn’t enough to keep William safe or Emily alive. Love doesn’t mean a damn thing in this world, Scully thought bitterly.

“It’s only complicated because we make it so,” Alex said gently, her voice full of regret. A lone tear fell on the onion she was chopping, but it didn’t escape Scully’s sharp mind, trained to notice small details like that.

“Charlie and you,” she carefully assumed. “Things weren’t perfect between you, were they?”

“That’s just it,” Alex smiled. “They were. At least when we allowed them to be.”

Scully opened her mouth to answer, but changed her mind, closing them again without a sound. They worked in silence, until Luke interrupted them. When he woke up alone in a strange place, he started to cry.

Alex rushed to him, but he refused her comfort, asking for _Mul-Mul_ instead.

Scully listened to his cries, thinking about other Luke, the one she never had a chance to meet. Luke Doggett, her former partner’s murdered son. After losing William, it was Agent Doggett who helped her find strength to keep living. He was the only one who could understand her pain without asking questions, without offering empty phrases as comfort. He knew how it felt to have your child taken and not know if he’s dead or alive.

But unlike her, he didn’t willingly hand his boy to a stranger. Unlike her, he did everything he could to get his son back.

Alex and Luke came to the kitchen and Scully smiled to the kid, but he frowned in return, still angry and heartbroken about not finding his new buddy.

“Mulder will be back soon,” Scully promised.

 _Unlike Agent Doggett_ , she thought bitterly. Or his partner, Agent Reyes, who also used to be a good friend. Charlie wasn’t the only person in Scully’s life with the tendency of disappearing without a trace.

Charlie _Harris_! Not _Scully_ , but _Harris_! She was glad that their dad didn’t live long enough to find out about that. He would be so disappointed.

“Do you want to watch TV?” Scully offered to her nephew.

“I want Mul-Mul!” the boy demanded. “Mul-Mul! Mul-Mul!” he chanted. “Mul-Mul!”

His sister started to kick very enthusiastically, as if she wanted _Mul-Mul_ as well. Alex wondered what on earth her children saw in that rude man.

 _Father figure_ , her lonely heart suggested, breaking all over again.

“I gave him up,” Scully suddenly said, out of nowhere. Alex turned to her, having question marks written all over her face.

“My son,” Scully clarified with a cold, business voice. “He would be fifteen now, but I didn’t get to celebrate any of his birthdays. Not even the first one. I put him up for adoption when he was just a baby.”

“Oh god,” Alex gasped. “I’m so sorry.”

“It was my decision,” Scully shook her head, refusing sympathy. “Those were dangerous times and I thought I was protecting him. I am not so sure now. The worst thing is, I never gave Mulder a chance to participate in this decision. I made it without him. I selfishly took the chance for fatherhood from him.”

“I left him too,” they heard a voice. It startled all of them, since no one noticed Mulder’s return.

“Mul-Mul!” Luke cried out both happily and desperately and run straight to him, wrapping his little arms around his leg. Mulder quickly placed the groceries on the counter to free his arms, then he picked up Luke, realizing that he missed the boy almost as much as the boy missed him.

“You left because your life was in danger,” Scully said. “You only left because I made you leave. It was all my idea.”

“It was still my choice,” Mulder answered bitterly. “I still left him.”

“You left him with his mother!”

“And you left him with his new mother,” Mulder countered. “Not everything is about you. I have the right to carry this guilt as much as you do. Maybe more. After all, I was the first to leave.”

Terrible, furious tension filled the air, and Alex tried to get away from it.

“I’ll give you some privacy,” she said awkwardly. “Luke and I will just…”

She tried to take Luke from Mulder, but the boy refused, clinging to him with all the strength his little body managed to accumulate.

“No!” he yelled firmly.

“It’s ok,” Mulder said, composing himself. “I’ll take him, and you two finish the dinner. It smells nice, doesn’t it, Luke?”

Luke nodded, pleased with his victory.

“Are you sure?” Alex hesitated.

“Yeah, don’t worry,” Mulder assured her. Before leaving the kitchen, he tossed a deep gaze towards Scully and she held it for a long moment, then nodded so slightly that nobody but him could possibly notice.

It was just another agreement, never to mention their little debate again. They were too good at _not_ talking about their issues, so it seemed pointless to try to change it now. They were both aware that it was too little too late for that.

“I’m sorry about that,” Scully said to Alex after taking a deep breath. “I didn’t…”

“…know how he feels?” Alex guessed.

“…want you to see this,” Scully corrected her sharply. She was mad at Mulder for starting this now, mad at herself for exposing her guest to it, mad at Alex for being so… understanding. She wanted to scold her for not minding her own business, but fought the urge to push her away. This woman she met only hours ago was the only family she had left. Bill stopped talking to her years ago, Charlie even longer, dead now, just like Melissa and her parents, who were all deeply disappointed by her career and personal choices.

Friends and cousins? What friends? What relatives?

She still had Mulder, but only because Mulder was impossible to get rid of.

“There’s only one chance to make a good first impression on someone,” she said honestly. “And Mulder and I are not doing a great job. I wish… I wish we could start again.”

“It’s ok,” Alex tried to assure her. “Really.”

“I missed Charlie, Alex,” Scully said with a deep, painful sigh. “I never stopped thinking about him. I guess I held a grudge for too long, but I’m not sure for what reason… ”

“I left him more times than I can remember,” Alex sighed painfully. “Sometimes we don’t leave because we don’t care anymore, but because we still do… Even if in the end it turns out to be a wrong decision, at the time it seemed like the only way…”


	7. Chapter 7

Alex stayed for longer than she intended. Scully’s place felt like a refuge. On the one hand, it was far away from painful memories, but on the other hand, she was discovering a whole new side of her late husband’s life.

Charlie’s childhood. His first crush. His school grades, hobbies, failures and achievements… Scully was full of stories that Alex craved for, stories Charlie never wanted to tell. He talked about his parents who died in a car crush, as if his childhood ended there and nothing memorable followed, but it was damn far from the truth.

It wasn’t all about Charlie. She really liked her sister in law. Scully was professional and reserved, but still a very caring person, and that was something Alex could relate to. She wasn’t crazy about Scully’s partner, but Luke was and that was enough for Alex to want to keep him around.

During Scully’s workhours, Alex and Luke would go sightseeing or simply relax at home. The longer they stayed, the more she dreaded going home, to the apartment, work and life she once shared with Charlie but now had all for herself…

Alex and Scully would meet for lunch daily, and sometimes Mulder would join them. Once, though, only Mulder came.

“Scully had to check something in the lab,” he said. “It couldn’t wait. She might join us later but it’s not likely.”

“Oh,” Alex was trying to hide her disappointment. “I understand.”

“Mul-Mul!” Luke wasn’t trying to hide his excitement.

“Hey, buddy!” Mulder greeted him. He was having mixed feelings about this. He was always thrilled to spend time with Luke, but Alex wasn’t so high on his list of tolerable people.

They ordered their meals between some uncomfortable small talk, but then Mulder decided to make it even more awkward.

“Charlie called his mother before she died,” he started. “I was there, I witnessed it. Scully thought it was Bill who informed him of her illness, but Bill denied knowing anything about Charlie’s whereabouts. No one knew how to find him, yet Maggie was asking for him and he called and talked to her. Tell me, Alex, how did he know she was dying?”

“I don’t know anything about that,” Alex stiffened defensively. “I didn’t even know he had a mother. He never mentioned the family that raised him.”

“I’m aware of that,” Mulder nodded. “But you knew him better than anyone so you’re my best chance to solve this. He must’ve been in contact with _someone_ from DC.”

“No,” Alex was reluctant. “Not necessarily.”

“What do you mean?”

“It doesn’t matter. You are not going to believe me, and neither you should.”

“Try me,” Mulder challenged her.

“They are both dead, Agent Mulder. Just let it go.”

“You know something,” Mulder was intrigued. He leaned forward, locking his eyes with hers. There was excitement in them that Alex didn’t understand. She found herself on the verge of telling him, but as she opened her mouth, she changed her mind and lowered her gaze, shaking her head.

“Mul-Mul!” Luke called, offering his fry. Mulder took it and put it in his mouth, not taking his eyes off Alex.

“Charlie Harris,” he recited. “An eccentric orthopedic surgeon who talked to himself, pulled correct diagnosis out of thin air and had previously unseen success rate. Yet, one day he snapped and had to quit his job, remaining unemployed until the day that he died.”

“How do you know all that?” Alex’s eyes grew wide.

“I’m an FBI Agent,” Mulder shrugged. “I did my homework.”

“Mul-Mul!” Luke interrupted and Mulder took another fry from him.

“Charlie could talk to unconscious people,” he continued. “He could see into their minds or something. That’s how he knew what’s wrong with them and how to help them.”

Alex shook her head and lowered her gaze, looking at her plate. She played with food absentmindedly, trying to prevent the tears from coming. Crying in front of this man was the last thing she needed.

“It’s ok, Alex,” Mulder said gently, probably for the first time treating her as a human being instead of some kind of suspect. “I’ve heard, and experienced, stranger things. My work is all about unexplained phenomena. If anybody is going to believe you, it’s me.”

“Mul-Mul!”

“Ok, buddy, but you have to eat some of that too,” Mulder took Luke’s offering, then transferred some of his own fries to the kid’s plate. He dipped one fry in the ketchup and brought it to the boy’s wide-open mouth. Luke seemed to be proud to be fed like that.

Despite the hard effort to stay calm, Alex started to shake and the first tears fell on her food. She felt a strong hand on her shoulder almost immediately.

“I’m sorry,” Mulder said discreetly, shifting his chair closer so that he could shield her from prying eyes of other guests. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I didn’t believe him,” Alex started to sob quietly and Mulder moved his chair next to hers to be able to hug her. “For a long time I refused to hear him. And when I did, when I finally did, I wanted to have nothing with it. I forced him to deal with all of it by himself. I wasn’t there for him, not as much as I could have been. As much as I should have been!”

Mulder held her without words, until she eventually stopped crying. She stayed in his embrace for a little longer, taking solace in his strength and support. Finally, feeling embarrassed but comforted, she raised her head from his shoulder and gave him an awkward smile.

Mulder took a napkin from the table and offered it to her to wipe the tears. “You stayed with him. It’s the most any of us can do.”

“It wasn’t enough.”

“If it wasn’t, he wouldn’t have married you,” Mulder assured her. “The woman I care about the most never agrees with me on anything. But that never stood between us. It didn’t ruin us in any way. If anything, it challenged us to grow and improve. Both individually and as a couple.”

“So what happened to separate you?”

Mulder just nodded and pulled away from her, back to his place. He took another fry from Luke and fed the boy in return, ignoring Alex’s presence.

“I’m sorry,” she tried to apologize, but Mulder didn’t acknowledge her words. She watched him retrieve into himself and turn into an unfriendly stranger once again. She wondered what could’ve possibly had happened between him and Dana to make them both freak out like that every time their relationship got mentioned.

“Yum, yum, yum!” Luke chanted gleefully as Mulder flew a fry all around him, finally landing it into his mouth.

“More?” Mulder asked and Luke nodded enthusiastically, opening his mouth again.

Alex chuckled with joy. It’s was a pleasure watching this little show and she would’ve kissed Mulder for making Luke so happy if he wasn’t so… Spooky.

“Mulder,” she tried to get his attention again. “Charlie could see people who recently… died. And those who were close to dying. It was limited to the patients from the hospital, but sometimes… There were exceptions. His mother must have been one. If she called for him on her deathbed, maybe her spirit found a way to reach him… This is the only explanation I can come up with.”

There. She said it. She took a deep breath, bracing herself for Mulder’s reaction. If he was to call her crazy, so be it. He wanted the truth. This was it. Ridiculous and way out there, but honest, pure and simple.

Mulder and Luke were busy feeding each other with flying fried objects. For a moment, she thought she would be ignored again, but then Mulder finally turned to her and pierced her with his gaze, as if his eyes could reach into her soul and drag the truth from there.

“I believe you,” he decided with a hint of an affirmative nod. “Have you told Scully any of this?”

Alex shook her head no.

“You should,” Mulder suggested. “She can help.”

“How so?”

“Well,” he gave her a naughty smile. “She’s had about two decades of experience dealing with a man with exceptional talents. Or crazy, as some people call it.”

Alex chuckled, feeling a weight lifted from her shoulders. She almost started to cry again, but this time from pure relief. She just found a friend who could understand. Not only a friend, Mulder was a family.

One flying ketchup-ed fry changed its route from Luke’s to Alex’s mouth and she took it instinctively, before realizing what was happening, causing her son to start clasping his little hands in excitement.

 


End file.
